Weight: 8 stone (no change, owing to alcohol intake)
Prescribed drugs administered: diazepam 40mg
How bad does it hurt on a scale of 1 to 10: 2
Well, when they say 'you will get over him' and 'he wasn't all that' I was sure it was a conspiracy but as it goes, things have worked out and the although not shining bright, the rainbow is on the horizon.
But have I gone about it in the wrong way.
Yesterday I began drinking vodka (mixed with a variety of soft drinks of course) from about 4pm. I didn't intentionally want to attract male attention. But seemed to.
They guy I originally had my oh so predatory eye on wasn't interested and lucked a little Jewish and strange to take a chance with. His name was Law anyways (intimidating or what). Owing to the increasing toxicity of my blood, I left The Board Room (local drinking place) to go else where and ran into...
The removal man... He was in Carlisle for the very first time and had only been there 45minutes when he bumped into me and possibly saved my life after grabbing my hips and pulling me away from moving traffic at a zebra crossing.
He was broad, huge shoulders.. chest hair and in his early thirties I guess... totally my sort of guy. He soon found solace licking my ears (??) and planting moist little kisses all over my neck. I knew straight away I was going for a home run on the rebound scale but what with the alcohol intake I didn't really care. I was wet-thighed with surrender.
I didn't think to much for his motivation, he was probably just trying to get some while he could. But he was definitely body perfect. Facial features are a bit of a blur but I remember him reminding me of some rugby player I used to know
It wasn't long before he had got me so intoxicated that I was relying on him for directions. We crawled between pubs and clubs and he was seemingly in awe of the attention I gathered. But being a stranger he knew nothing of me ( don't you just love anonymity)
And so it came time to either leave him and go home alone with self respect or leave with a removals man and get thrown round my bedroom like a toy. I went for the latter.
I was actually longing for simple human contact ; sleeping in the same bed without have to penetrate, suck or fuck any organ whatsoever. But that was, with hindsight naive at best.
Incidentally I had seen my 'recently departed ex' that night with my new man of the moment beside me. He works in a local takeaway (family business) in the town centre and I made a point of buying a chip butty from the shop, which I attempted to nibble in the taxi on the way home. I only caught his eye for a seconds glance and that was enough to confirm it , I don't think I love him anymore. In fact, I don't think I ever could have.
"He was now just another nameless, faceless stranger. His chapter in my book
is over."
The SEX
I feel dirty and 'bad' for saying this but once back in the flat, it was actually some of the best sex ( from what I can remember) that I have had in ages. It served it's purpose. It did the job. I was left exchausted, enammered, happy to have survived it and suitably satisfied.
I hope my noise pollution didn't intrude on the neighbours too much. The flat is still a tip by the way... just never get round to doing anything about it since the break up.
He left ( as most removal men do) at a ridiculous 5am, which I didn't mind because I would have felt even more currupt, used and abused whatching him zip his flie up indaylight... and saying 'thanks, let's do that again some time' I woke up at 10am and could still smell him in my bed, on my skin and inside me ; I had a bath.
Incidently he did scrawl a phone number down on the back of a dingy, scrawled up reciept (IRONY) and left it by my bed. Mind you, it could be the number for the foreign embassy for all I know...
once again (great sex)
anyways... just going to have a quite day today... get over this mini hangover I have ( my first ever)
Ps. Great sex....
