Friday, September 14

Plenty of worthy distractions

Cigarettes: sore throat lingers - too many again
Weight: 8 stone
NEW desired weight 7 stone 7
Prescribed drugs administered: 40mg diazepam
Colour of the day: non inparticular
How bad does it hurt on a scale of 1 to 10: 4

Very happy - new desired

You see, Diary I am still waiting for my rainbow, but the storm is defiantly over and some engaging distractions in the form of several white males (names withheld) have helped me through the last few days without needing to rely on chemicals too much. They have also helped me tone by body and probably helped me reach my desired weight! :-)

You see, everyone just needs to get along, that's what I'm coming to realise. I'm not worrying or - life-anxious, I'm simply ambivalent. Everything I have given, waisted and endured (in particular with my recently departed Mother F****ing junkie of an ex-boyfriend) is irrelevant because everything I give, all comes back to me. I'm not saying I believe in Karma, I'm not even contesting to know how to spell it (Karma that is is) but I have found inner poise and sanctuary once again in the notion that people who kick dirt in my eye usually end up in the dirt, getting hit by a bus or not realising what they've got til its....


Confessions: very sorry, had 2 lines of cocaine in pub toilet, totally regretted it, felt awful, but guy had real nice shoulders. (excuse?)
Had sex for pure self gratification. Felt bad ( not), but didn't feel too good either.

Ignored Jehovah's witnesses this morning , because I was busy straightening my hair

Message to mum in Cyprus: hope you are having a good time

Anyways, you can't really be in love with someone who would rather stick a needle in their arm than...

And, just sitting here in the library thought I'd share my new friend (Mat) with you, definitely worth a visit