Wednesday, July 26

Diary launch - Phone call from SNEAK!

Cigarettes: 6 (V. Good)
Prescription drugs consumed: 10mg valium
No. Of Online diaries launched: 1!
Positive thoughts: 20 (owing to great weather)
Unexpected phonecalls: 1, from (Sneak! Magazine)
Negative energy/apprehension owing to magazine article soon to be published : BIG

My Online Diary has been launched at last, owing to much persuasion on my part to get rid of that ghastly site which my journals aim to replace (or accompany)

Really, there should be government warnings, stipulating us girls should never get carried away with these sensationalised hysteria-driven media-type-people. I really do cringe in manner of Michael-Jackson's-mother-looking-through-Nation-Enquirer whenever that "topless" Sunday Sport picture accosts me. Infact I cringe so often whenever I look at that biography that I do believe repetitive strain injury may have set in. (mental note: research liability of trashy tabloid into compensation claim)

Be warned: no matter how much they pay you, it always ends in tears and to many people's surprise they don't always use your breasts which although is bonus if shy and not-too-keen-to-start-with (ME) ; It does also beg the question, what are wrong with mine? When I found out they had used a post-operative picture of a certain glamour model with the same surname as me (yeh - exactly) I was even more offended.

So to put that horrid debacle to bed "on the record", think I will say bye to diary and get back to my pseudo-yoga. You see, is new exercise based concept (designed by moi) similar to the much popularized past time whereby exercise need not be actually undertaken, merely thought about in a positive way. Well call me lazy but know one's perfect...

Phonecall... Hurrah! You see - withheld number! Could be new romantic-missing-link-to-life type figure... Or Carlisle Police. (If you read my Diary a lot you will know...) OK - phone no longer ringing. Anyways not looking for man, what with new found inner-poise and new found sense of self.

Another phone call! Hurrah! You see people do care..... Ah, was Issy Sampson From SNEAK! Magazine, lovely girl; journalist though but is only Junior writer so probably not as corrupt. "Contract, I didn't sign a contract!" I beamed, "ONLY JOKING issy" I continued adopting my studious media-type-person tone. It is moments not too dissimilar to this that make me question the appreciation of my sense of humour from others. Anyways, found out in a sort of genuine-surprise-you-don't want to hear that my article or "spread" as they call it which I was interviewed some months ago for, will be published in like 4 days.

In manner of shell-shock-victim, I quivered, bones rattled and replaced receiver; before dialing 141 and calling her straight back just to check she wasn't winding me up, or was infact Issy and not as thought possible, best friend Rosie playing nasty your-going-to-be-in-the-papers-again-and-everyone-will-hate-you OTT dramatic practical joke.

Turns out I will be in SNEAK! Magazine. I understand this goes against new-found-inner-poise and cestation from media activities moto. But I did sign a contract apparently and they are paying which will help me and friend Rosie with new Skipton Musical Festival project.